


everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head

by majesdane



Category: Spring Breakers
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-06 06:31:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/majesdane/pseuds/majesdane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>major spoilers</b> | <i>They are waking from their hazy, sugar-rush fluorescent dreaming.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head

"I like to think the world wasn't ready for me, but maybe the truth is that I wasn't ready for the world."  
\-- _The History of Love_ , Nicole Krauss

 

They fumble silently together in the backseat, all sighs and sticky sweat and quickening heat, the cool night air pricking at their bare skin; they're too lazy to put the top down, but it's dark enough out; they'll have to get rid of the car soon anyway, even though they haven't decided yet how they're going to do it. 

( _Torch it or leave it somewhere, just wipe down the fucking seats and steering wheel and you know._ Brit smells like bubblegum. Her hair is a lighter blonde color than when they came down, bleached from the sun and salt water. _Drive it into the motherfucking ocean, maybe._ Her laugh is light and lilting. It makes Candy's heart race. )

They've done this a hundred times before -- more, even, maybe -- but it feels different this time. Like they're whole new people with whole new bodies. Hips jut up to meet pressing, searching fingers. Candy's breath is hot against the side of Brit's face, one hand buried in her her hair, the other gripping the curving side of the leather backseat. When Candy opens her eyes, she can see the stars above her, bright and hazy. She's still buzzed from earlier. The stars are dancing. She can see them behind her eyelids when she comes, little sparks in the darkness.

( _I'm going to do better,_ she says in the car as they drive along the quiet highway, the roads nearly empty, all the students gone home days ago. She tilts her head back, letting the late afternoon sun wash over her, the wind whipping through her hair. _I really am._

 _It's gonna be different, you and I,_ she says, after a moment. It's firm. A declaration. _It's gonna be so fucking different._

Brit cocks her head to the side considering this, one hand on the steering wheel. She's got her shades on. Gucci. She couldn't afford shit like that before; she took them off some stupid college girl drinking a Coke in one of the arcades along the boardwalk, shoving a gun up against her cheek. Bang bang, you're dead. She laughs. Reaches for Candy with her free hand. _Yeah it is. I want it to be._ )

 _Fuck_. Candy exhales shakily. She wraps her arms around Brit's waist, clings to her like a lifeline; she's the only one, the only one who knows. The wind rustles the trees and it sounds like the tide coming in, the gentle swish of the waves as they creep further and further up the beach. She's come down now, slipping back into reality, cramped and sore from the awkward angles of the backseat. 

Brit kisses her, kisses her neck, her shoulders. She's not down all the way yet, still floating a little. There's still time, before they have to slip back into the front seats. They're going to have to catch a bus, eventually. They can't drive this car all the way back to Kentucky; the thought depresses her. Things will be better. _Things are gonna be better_ , she murmurs, bringing her hands up and cupping Brit's face. 

(Brit hums a Britney Spears song. Candy can still feel the weight of the shotgun in her hand. She leans over, rummaging around in her backpack on the floor; there's still a couple bottles of Jack Daniel's left; she uncaps one and takes a long drink of it, the alcohol burning all the way down. Brit hits a bump in the road. The sticky splash of the whiskey against her skin feels like a spatter of blood. She's almost surprised when she wipes at her arm and her fingers don't come away red.

Red, like cherry juice, sweet and bright and dripping down her chin. They're twelve, eating cherries in Brit's backyard. Laughing with impossible happiness. White teeth stained red. It's them, it's always them, and no one else. Faith and Cotty have already left, one after the other; they've got better things to do; Faith has her religion and Cotty has her other friends, older boys. They're not the same.

 _You're the one for me_ , Brit says, junior year of high school, her voice as low and soft as the gentle pattering of rain against the window. Candy doesn't know where her mom is and it's nice; they have the house to themselves, even if all they do on days like these is lie in bed and sleep and smoke and watch reruns of _Law & Order_. There is an ease of closeness between them that Candy can't feel with anyone else. She's tried. No one is like her.

No one but Brit anyway. They are the ones for each other.

 _I know you are_ , Brit says. _You understand. You fucking_ get _it._ They aren't the same as everyone else. They feel differently about things. Never really living, never really feeling. Brit leans forward and kisses her. They've kissed before, but it feels different this time. Something has changed.

Now, she puts the bottle away, reclines back in her seat, dreams of Alien and the pop of guns and the gentle sounds of a piano.)

 _I want to sleep for a bit,_ Brit mumbles, with a lazy grin. She shifts, puts her head down on Candy's chest. She can hear Candy's heart beating, the dull thud of it. She's still wet between her legs, wet and aching, but she's tired too; weed makes her sleepy and she's been driving all day, non-stop. They're already a week late getting back to school. 

Tomorrow. Tomorrow they'll ditch the car, catch a bus, go back home. 

(Brit's hand is in her own, their fingers intertwined. Candy breathes it in, the smell of the the new morning, the scent of the ocean and the sand, worlds away. More of a memory now than anything else. Candy strokes the back of Brit's hand with her thumb. _What do you think will happen now?_ she asks. She means later, once they've gotten back to school, once the bodies have been found, once they slip back into the lives they are supposed to have. _You know . . ._

Brit shrugs. _Dunno._ They are waking from their hazy, sugar-rush fluorescent dreaming. _Guess we'll just have to see._ She smiles at Candy, looking at her over the tops of her sunglasses. _Don't be scared, right? You gotta be hard._

 _Yeah,_ Candy echoes with a slight smile of her own, leaning across the seats and resting her head on Brit's shoulder. _You gotta be hard._ Brit untangles their fingers, puts her arm around Candy's shoulders. Candy feels warm all over, right down to her toes. She's sky-high, she's flying; she isn't sure that she knows what love is, isn't even sure that it even exists, but she thinks she feels it now, with Brit. Or at least the closest she will ever come, anyway.

Brit closes her eyes, thinks about tomorrow.)

They'll do better. 

They've made up their minds.


End file.
